• Ruth Towell

Lockdown Reflections - Rebecca

As we are standing on the turning point of the lockdown being eased in the UK, I decided to embark on a new portrait project. Capturing this moment in time, with reflections from individuals about this season and thoughts about how a post-lockdown world might look. Each portrait is a window into an individual's life, shot through the window of their home capturing the invisible separation that lockdown brings.

This is Rebecca, have a read of her story:

"I was due to get married 5 days after lockdown was announced. A few days earlier we had postponed the big celebration as we could see what was coming, but were still hoping to have a small service with immediate family so that we could be married. Unfortunately all weddings were stopped and that was that. There was a definite sense of grief, we had worked so hard to prepare and now we missed out on being married.

But then our world was rocked even more, when my Mum died 20 months after a terminal diagnosis. Due to restrictions, there were only six people at the funeral, which was heart-breaking. And knowing that Mum had made it to our original wedding day but would now miss our wedding just added to the pain.

A bereavement in normal circumstances is devastating, but bereavement during lockdown has another dimension. So many people are grieving – careers that are disappearing, graduations cancelled, weddings postponed, birthdays and family celebrations that can no longer take place. Because of this it has sometimes been difficult to process my grief when other people also seem to have so much going on to cause sorrow and distress.

So lockdown has been tough, but actually there have been so many beautiful moments. We have been able to spend precious time together that we would not have had otherwise, as a family (and personally) we have been blown away by people’s thoughtfulness and kindness to us. Lockdown in general has caused us to be more intentional with staying in touch with friends and family, much more than we were in ‘normal’ life. And our neighbours have come together to look out for each other, that I hope continues even after lockdown.

There is plenty to be sad about during this time, it is tough and I learnt quickly that it is ok to recognise that. But despite the pain and fear that this period has brought, I hope we are able to hold onto the creativity in celebrating the special and the mundane, the community connection and the immense kindness as normal starts to return."

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